One Speed Teacher

My dear mother has often said that I have one speed: go.  Considering currently limited conditions of self, my one speed is: slow.

In the marvelous collection of talks by Walter Carrington, Thinking Aloud, one of his lectures is "Taking Time".  He suggests that we always have time to inhibit and direct, and that the very notion of giving ourselves time shifts our use.  We have to take the time to give ourselves time, but that allowance of time can change how we respond in the moment.

Suddenly, I have all kinds of time.  A walk that previously took me about 10 minutes now requires about 40 minutes.  Impatience, emotional dismay, and a sense of needing to go faster only increase my mind chatter and muscular contraction.  I have to stop myself, take time to allow coordination and ease, request elasticity and balance, and accept the pace that is inherent with my condition of self.  This is not easy for me, but it is what is required.

During a lesson, this need to take time is very useful.  The larger field of awareness that putting hands on students and moving them  requires is expanded further by the necessity to take time.  A new balance of thinking and moving is revealing itself.

I have always moved more quickly than most folks, been more active, and delighted in my speed.  Now, I have to value taking time, relinquishing hurry, enjoying the slow lane.

I keep looking for ways to be grateful for this devastating injury.  Perhaps I am beginning to find a means of being grateful for having to have just one unfamiliar, very slow and observant pace.