Losing the lurch and the limp

As my mobility increases, much to my joy, the habits of limping and lurching when I walk, climb stairs or come up from a chair linger.  These habits had become very deeply ingrained by my formerly very limited mobility, as well as by constant pain.

Now, I have to consciously refuse to limp and lurch.  This means I need to direct myself with great dedication and determination to come up from the ground from both feet,  and to trust my injured leg to support me as I put my weight into it.  I also have to ask my non-injured, overly strong leg to participate a little less, so that the left leg can learn to bear weight again.

Widening is a constant directional challenge for me.  If I am uneasy about support or balance, I notice an immediate narrowing through my shoulders that results in a very pronounced limp, as I have pulled myself off the ground, and thus disrupted the entire elastic balance of tone.  My fear of falling remains huge.  Trusting that my thought of widening onto the ground to spring up will be sufficient for support becomes a rather noisy internal dialogue.  If I am understanding, accepting and patient with myself (this often means literally going more slowly), the battle quiets, anxiety decreases, and what do you know, I can walk with some semblance of ease and grace!

After nearly 3 months of requiring rides to and from my office, I am now walking to the bus and getting to work on my own slow steam!  Independent mobility has always been a great delight for me.  I am very happy to be, step by step, resuming mobile independence with consciously applied Alexander principles.